February 2012
Everything I know about Twilight
pizzaforpresident:
I’ve never seen a twilight movie or read a book before so I thought it would be fun to write down everything I know about the series in one incredibly incorrect post.
TWILIGHT
Bella moves to Forks Washington to live with her dad and it always rains
She meets an asian kid in high school and falls in love with Edward and sits next to him in biology
She meets the other...
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3 tags
I may have just fallen asleep in front of...
So that’s what being old is going to feel like
Those of you who feel the need to make racist...
themissfrizz:
tehwhovianhufflepuff:
There is a fine line between disagreement and prejudice. If you just don’t care for her as the choice, or dislike the American remake entirely, that is fine. However, her not being a white male is no reason for you to be blatantly offensive about the matter. You should know better than that.
I don’t like that they made Watson a girl. Asian or not makes...
Those of you who feel the need to make racist...
There is a fine line between disagreement and prejudice. If you just don’t care for her as the choice, or dislike the American remake entirely, that is fine. However, her not being a white male is no reason for you to be blatantly offensive about the matter. You should know better than that.
I don’t like that they made Watson a girl. Asian or not makes no difference, but I’m not...
5 tags
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
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JaredPadaleckisAss.com →
HP Fandom: Oh no...
Twilight Fandom: What??
1D Fandom: Its happened again...
Sherlock Fandom: Oh fuck here we go.
THG Fandom: NEW FUCKING TRAILER HOLY SHIT FJDKSLAJFKDSL BREAD SCENE OMG BREAD SCENE HOLY FJDSKALJFDSLA IM DEAD IM SOBBING UGLY SOBS WHY AM I SO DAMN UGLY DAMN SOBS OMG THE NEW TRAILER I CANT MY HEART MY HEART I CANT SOMEONE HOLD ME PLEASE IM SHAKING AND I CANT IM ABOUT TO FJDKLA...
*THG Fandom explodes and everyone dies*
WatchDarren, I adore you.
Almost as much as I adore the muppets
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Asshole: God is real and if you aren't religious then you will go to hell! MAY GOD SAVE YOU!
Asshole: God isn't real and if you believe in any of that shit you're stupid and should never breed.
Atheist: I don't believe in God, but I respect the beliefs of others.
Theist: I believe in God, but I don't mind if you don't believe in him.
Deist: I dunno man there's some shit up there what more do you want sit down eat a sandwich
SON OF A PITCH! I'M UP AGAINST_____
thegoldensnitchy:
Reconsider those gender rule changes, IQA… today I’ve got a female chaser who doesn’t need any help earning her spot on the pitch. Meet Jessica Klein of the NY Badassalisks.
Some teams act under the belief that girls should primarily be beaters. Personally, I disagree with this assumption, and a quick look at many of the top teams in the sport would prove they do as well,...
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roguepromise replied to your post: roguepromise replied to your post: Whoa whoa whoa….
Yes. And it hurts.
That was a very, very cruel filler
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roguepromise replied to your post: Whoa whoa whoa. Hold on a sec. When the fuck did Jo and Ellen come back from the dead?
just wait for the pain to hit.
Oh, it’s supernatural. I expect pain by now
But it is explained?
3 tags
Whoa whoa whoa. Hold on a sec. When the fuck did...
Because Last I saw, Jo and Ellen died by suicide bombing a ton of hell hounds.
And now they’re back and hunting?
And Ellen’s married to Bobby?
Did I miss something?
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Announcer: THE ARTIST? TWO FOR YOU!
Harry Potter: bu-
Announcer: HUGO? FOUR FOR YOU, HUGO, YOU GO HUGO!
Harry Potter: uh-
Announcer: Is War Horse in the audience? Here you go, one for you...
Harry Potter: excuse me-
Announcer: AND NONE FOR HARRY POTTER BYE
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Boyfriend got me tickets to Gaelic Storm for our...
AHHH!
Best boyfriend ever! Can’t wait <3
5 tags
benthedragon:
amy-pond-a-pirate-queen:
Doctor...
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mytardisishogwarts replied to your photo: I made a new thing! They’re slightly different…
…teach me your ways master….
… I crocheted a square big enough to meet around my hands, and then just stitched it shut except for a thumb hole. I taught myself how yesterday »
6 tags
Watchyouleftmeherefordead:
stereotypicalwords:
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
I DID NOT CATCH THIS JOKE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER
And I thought this was a kids show. XD
I GET IT NOW
WOT.
OHHH MY GOD.
Write your tumblr name with your eyes closed....
heartbreakisahorcrux:
lodeman:
sonictongues:
sassypotassium:
facepalmx2combo:
duck-cakes:
d8ck-calkes
facepalmx2combo
sassypoysddium
pfft
sonictongues
lodeman
heartbreakisahorcursk
tehwhovianhuifflepuff
pretty damn close
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
we're watching the Chamber of Secrets, and my...
